Dylan Paul Shanti Rateau was born February 19, 1981, in Oklahoma City, OK. He spent the majority of his life in Norman, OK, with years spent in Red River, NM, and Amarillo, TX. He was preceded in death by his mother, Kathi Arnold, father, Gerard Rateau, Grandfathers Francis Rateau and Ken Densow, cousin Kendra Rateau, and Grandmother Alyce Densow. He is survived by his sister, Amber Rateau, and nephews Aidan, Ryder, Callum, step-dad Dirk Arnold, and Grandmother Jeannine Rateau. Aunts, Uncles, and cousins reside in Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Wisconsin.
It speaks to one’s character to have lifelong friends. Many have sent remarks about Dylan’s gentle “Buddha nature”, his kindness and generosity. Dylan was always ready to help anyone with anything. His years spent working with Habitat for Humanity provided some of the most rewarding experiences. He was a staunch supporter of those who needed help, even when he was himself in need.
Named after Bob Dylan, he had a deep appreciation for all kinds of music. His record collection is admirable! Another of his true loves was Volkswagens. He owned several and loved working on them. Dylan felt at home out in nature and in making green things grow. He was also an excellent cook and enjoyed researching new recipes to try. To have Dylan as a houseguest guaranteed delicious meals and a tidy house.
Dylan was an intelligent man, but struggled in school. Family has saved an elementary school report about his grandfather’s experiences in Germany during WWII; his teachers thought he made it up! He tested out of high school and later studied auto mechanics. Although he didn’t pursue his childhood talent for art, his creativity was expressed in his construction and landscaping work, and was evident in his unique eye for decorating a space with eclectic finds.
Dylan was a true animal lover, especially dogs. He had many, but friends will especially remember Brewtus, Remi, and most recently, Hilde. They were constant companions and emotional support. D had many close friends, but his dogs knew him best.
Although he has three nephews, Aidan, Ryder, and Callum, he was “Uncle D” before they came along. Children of cousins and friends, little kids just loved him, and he cared for every one of them. Touching goodbyes from them showed they cared just as much for him.
Dylan and his sister had amazing opportunities to travel the world with their father, Gerard. Hong Kong, Australia, Nepal, China, Thailand. D spent several months in Hong Kong studying Cantonese and becoming a certified diver. Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef, walking the Great Wall of China, snowboarding at Lake Tahoe, trekking through the Himalayas in Nepal…these types of experiences were as educational as any university.
In his final months, Dylan wrote a poem/song,“The Devil Made Me Kind”. Its meaning is about how familiar he was with darkness, struggle, and despair…and how he chose instead to be kind, supportive, and generous. Dylan often talked about his desire to just disappear into the woods and live the life of a monk. The hurt of the world affected him deeply.
A haiku written by his sister in his last weeks, observing him just sitting quietly:
Contemplative Monk
Eyes closed tight against the Light
Devil made him kind.
Shanti, the Sanskrit word for Peace. Perhaps being given that middle name was an intention or wish; unfortunately, Dylan never found peace in his life. Physical injuries, difficulties with relationships, the grief of losing his parents…he struggled almost his entire life with severe depression and crippling anxiety. Despite the many problems it caused, D turned to alcohol to cope. When it appeared he had hit bottom, and then hit bottom again, and then yet again, still, its grip upon him never loosened. Alcohol is what led to his early death, there is no need to sugarcoat. The common regret among family and friends, “I wish he would have loved himself the way we all loved him.” May he now find the peace he always sought. He was, and will be, loved.
